Three inches above the floor, my body feels heavy, anchored by the weight of homesickness and fear. The man in the box, his face illuminated by the cold light of a screen, seems to want to burn my soul with his piercing gaze. He asks, “Is that all?” I’m silent, the words caught in my throat, choking me with their bitterness.
The pain is easy, he says, but he doesn’t understand the depth of the scars left by leaving behind everything familiar. The land I once called home, the faces I once knew, all fading into memories as I tread this unfamiliar path. Too many words fill my mind, echoing with the voices of those who’ve walked this path before me, their warnings and encouragements blending into a cacophony that I can barely distinguish.
The screams, if you’re hearing screams, he warns, but how can I not? The screams of those who’ve been left behind,and of those who’ve been torn from their families, their homes, their identities. They blend and echo in the silence of the night, haunting me, reminding me of the darkness that surrounds this journey.
“Come back, child, come back,” they seem to whisper, a plea to return to a past that no longer exists. My hands are dry, cracked from the cold and the harshness of this new world. But I know they’re going to make it, just one more night, just one more step towards a future that remains uncertain.
The man in the box continues to speak, his words a blur as my mind races with thoughts of what lies ahead. The terrors that’s associated with this journey, the shadows that lurk in every corner, waiting to engulf those who dare to seek a better life. It’s a vibe that’s both external and internal, a monster that threatens to consume me whole.
But I’m tired, so tired of the fear, of the unknown, of the weight of the world pressing down on my shoulders. The pain may be easy for some to dismiss, but for me, it’s a constant companion, a reminder of the sacrifices made and the challenges faced.
Too many words, too many words, I think as I try to make sense of it all. The stories, the warnings, the hopes and dreams that propel us forward even when the path seems impossible. They fill my mind, a jumble of emotions and thoughts that I can’t escape.